TEARS ON MY PILLOW

In my opinion, the greatest fear in life is not death. The greatest fear in life is to end up alone. That is why every single day of our lives, we lie. Even when we have no reason to, we lie. We lie about our well-being, we lie about our background, we lie about our situation, we lie about our past, and we just keep lying. Because we are so afraid that people will not accept us as we are. We have to try and fit in to other people’s worlds. We feel like our truth is so ugly that we will be rejected and judged by it. 

Whether your life is going the way you want it to or not, just be happy and never stop to think about what your life was…. Think about what you are going to make your life be. Being good does not cost a dime, be good to everyone whether they hurt you or not just be good. Everyone has their own baggage that they carry from their past. Most of us are not okay because we carry so much pain in our hearts for so long. And you just have no one to talk to because no one truly understands. We might have gone through similar things but the experience is never the same. 

So many times, you think that you can open up to a friend, parent or spouse about whatever you are going through and expect them to understand. But the sad truth is, they will never understand because they do not feel what you feel. They can only go so far as to listen, comfort, talk and be with you. Some of us are surrounded by so many friends but how many do you think you can truly talk to openly about everything, about your life? Most of them will only want to be there during the good times but will not want to listen to your ugly truth.

The most honest people in life have very few friends. When you have been through a lot in life and had no one to really talk to. You learn to keep quiet because silence is better than a lie. Most people say that they want to hear the truth but honestly they do not want to hear it. We take our friends for granted and when they are gone is when you start to appreciate them and wish you had been there for them as much as they were for you. So most nights,… you cry yourself to sleep and wake up the next day refreshed. Because you have to be “okay”.