A KNIFE IN MY HEART

Best friends give you life, you share all your secrets and lives together, moments are best experienced with them, you are yourself when you are with them, you let your guard down because you know that is someone you can trust. Some best friends go as far as making other people question your sexuality because you are so comfortable around them that you do not even care. But best friends can make you and break you because they know things about you that no one else does, not even your parents.

Even when you have spent a long time apart, when you finally meet again, it’s like you never left each other. You spend hours talking about nothing and everything, even in silence you are comfortable being with each other. But some friendships are one sided, people hold back for all sorts of reasons, they only tell you what is enough for you to know. Scheming and plotting against people who hurt them is what best friends do, and when they are together they are untouchable.

But when they fall apart, they are weak because each of them knows each other’s deepest and darkest secrets and can use it to their advantage. If best friends do not fight then that is not true friendship but there is a limit to the war. You can only go as far as hurting them in a way that you know can be realistically forgiven but some things hurt so much that a person may forgive but never forget. We are all humans but just because some people act tough and cold does not mean that they do not have feelings.

They say a diamond is the hardest rock but even diamonds break eventually. We all need people to talk to, someone that will always be there unconditionally. But life teaches you to trust no one because even your own shadow leaves you in the dark. People may seem good but everyone approaches you with an agenda behind them and they do not care if that involves hurting you. Some people are born that way. We are all brought up differently but culture still influences the way we behave.

FINDING A NEW MUSE

We spend half our lives blaming other people for our faults instead of taking responsibility for our actions. There is something to be said for having a partner in crime, sometimes you have no choice but to go it alone, after all you are the only one who can answer for your sins. And once you have answered for your sins, there is nothing in the way of starting a whole new partnership. Some things never end, they just take a new turn because they are meant to last forever. Every judgment holds some truth in it. 

I spent so much time blaming my actions on other people but I realized one thing about me, no one forces me to do what I do not want to do. All the things that people say to criticize our actions are actually a driving force of motivation. I used to always look at the negative side of things and the negative always kept happening until I decided to relax, evaluate and keep calm. When you think before reacting there is usually a better outcome. There are only two sides to every situation and the side you pick is always your choice.

I have always only had one motivation but that motivation kept putting me down and making me sad most of the time. They say it takes years to let go but letting go begins with the mind, channeling your thoughts and energy towards other important things that matter in your life helps you to forget the impossible. I haven’t been able to write anything for months now but after letting go of part of the pain in my heart, I could write again. Pain has always been a great motivation to me, some may say I enjoy pain but it only makes me think clearly.

They say it is not right to do things on your own but what choice do you have when everyone has said no to helping you achieve what you want. Sometimes you may think that you have been left alone in this world, but it is better to be alone than be surrounded by hypo-critic energy. Remember the words of Einstein, “I am thankful to all those who said “no” because of them, I did it myself”. Never lose hope in what you want, God never slumbers he knows your thoughts and desires and when the time is right, he gives you what you want.

THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM

 They say the early bird gets the worm, inspiring motivation if you are the bird. The worm however has no idea of when her future will be plucked away by the next air borne attacker. The reason why most working class people wake up very early in the morning to go to work striving for a promotion or salary raise. Just as various athletes competing to win a race. We do not all want the same things but that does not mean that we do not have to work hard to achieve them either. 

For everything that we desire to have, there is a percentage of people who want the same thing. That is why people are deemed successful when they achieve their dreams, which is the worm in this case. Because everybody wants the worm, everybody dreams of success. They say our past should not define us but in the end the paths we choose to take define us. We are capable of so much only if we put our hearts into it. Trusting our instinct is one thing, taking action is another and every action involves risks.

We are all afraid of losing something, but fear is what limits us from doing certain things. Loss is part of life, you cannot have it all, even the most beautiful person has a fault in them. God created us in his own image and likeness but that does not mean that we are perfect. We have nothing to lose by putting our fear aside and taking action. God created the world in seven days, but the human race took centuries to make the world what it is today. I believe we are all fighting to achieve something, it may take ages but it is still possible.

There is a reason why the Bible has a scripture for almost everything and in my opinion I think every action can be justified. Everyone does things for a certain reason, most for selfish motives. The world we live in is individualistic, everyone looks out for their own interests whether they are blood related or not. These days even water is proving to be thinker than blood. As long as the bird keeps striving to get the worm, the other birds will always be filled hate, jealousy, envy and greed to snatch it away. Some people find happiness in other people’s sadness.

THE CRUSHING WEIGHT OF A PARENT'S EXPECTATIONS

Children will always be children, only until they realize that they have dreams of their own to fulfill. A parent can only do as much as to bring up a child the right way and trust that the child knows the difference between right and wrong. The story only becomes sad when a parent cannot trust that a child knows what he or she is doing. Every child does as much as he or she can to meet the expectations of the parent, they say nothing is impossible but some things are impossible if it is not your heart’s desire.

While some children will do everything in their power to destroy you, others will wilt under the crushing weight of your expectations and some will become parents themselves. You know we all disapprove of teenage pregnancy but some things are beyond our control. Children only become rebellious when they have tried their best to tell you and show you the path they want for themselves but a parent chooses to have the child go in the path they desire for them. That is when you hear words like, “you are a disappointment and shame to the family”.

Many children choose to wilt under the crushing weight of a parent’s expectations because they see a harder life without the parents support. Life always has its ups and downs, the easiest path does not always guarantee happiness but when you fight to get what you want, it gives you satisfaction in the end because you will be at peace with yourself and happy for what you have achieved. People may desert you in the beginning but they start to come around after they have understood that you were only striving for success.

When you have children of your own you start to understand why parents behave the way they do. They only wish their children to have the best in life but they forget that in all that over protectiveness they are hurting the child and limiting them from achieving their dreams. Some parents do not understand that a simple time spent to listen to the child and try to look at life from their perspective could change things and build a mutual healthy relationship. Every relationship is the same, people need to be reminded that they are loved.

JOURNEY OF THE BROKE

People have come up with various theories that either control them or govern the way they live their lives. Someone once told me that “job” means “journey of the broke”, truth is at first I laughed but when he began to explain it started to make sense. He explained it with examples of what goes on in our daily lives and honestly if you were there with me, you would find it hard not to believe.

We are all brought up to go to school, read hard and pass exams so that we can go to university and later graduate. Our parents always tell us that school is the only way, you have to get good grades to make it in life. But unfortunately, even those that faithfully follow those rules and pass their exams have no good jobs to date and are broke most of the time. That makes me think, were people like Einstein, Ben Carson and our very own Wavamuno (the owner of Wavamuno Broadcasting Services in Uganda) right to drop out of school?

The journey of the broke has a continuous viscous cycle that keeps those same job seekers broke all the time. At the end of the month, we all get the salary that we are so much looking forward to which is then cut down by taxes, a percentage of any given loans is also deducted, any work affiliated contributions is also deducted, leaving you with almost not enough to cater for the rest of your needs and by the middle of the month, you are already broke again. And the next month comes and the cycle continues.

Some of you who now earn a steady income that is more than enough for you may think this is a lie but ask a friend who is always living on loans or better yet remember the days you had just started working. We all have to begin from scratch to make it to the top unless of course you are just merely lucky or born in wealth.

People like Einstein, Ben Carson and all those other people you consider to be rich did not love school, but they went anyway because you need a certain amount of knowledge to add to yours. People may consider these people as geniuses or just merely lucky but I think they used their knowledge the right way to achieve their dreams. They took the right steps at the right time, risk is part of life, if you do not take risks, then you are not ready for greatness. 

Use the knowledge that you are given at school and add to yours plus of course our God given talents. God gives us talents for a purpose not for us to sit on, but unfortunately most of mankind sits on their talents. There is no easy way to make money but inspired thought gives us an idea, the idea involves taking risks and it is through talent that something will manifest. If your brain is the kind that is in constant thought, you are blessed, do not leave those thoughts to waste.

There are a million ways to make money, do not walk the “journey of the broke”.